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Danielle's Adventure (collab)Disgusted by her boring life, Danielle decided to one day start an adventure. But this would require preparation.
So she called her best friend, Jenny, to see if she wanted to do all the preparation for her. Jenny unfortunately refused, so Danielle was forced to build a fishing pole out of toothbrushes herself.
After 14 and a half hours of hard work, she realized that the reason the toothbrushes weren't sticking together was that she was placing them three feet apart and singing to them. She tried a different tactic.
She put all the toothbrushes in the kitchen sink and filled it with maple syrup. She watched What Not To Wear as she waited for the demon she'd summoned earlier to come.
The demon arrived while the poorly dressed woman went shopping, and sat down in a nice recliner. Danielle failed to notice and continued drinking the leftover maple syrup.
The demon had never had maple syrup before, so he politely asked to try some. Danielle freaked out and kicked her tv. The demon was con
Frederick the Guinea Pig (collab) Frederick was a guinea pig belonging to little Debbie Livingston. Frederick liked Debbie, because she gave him fresh crunchy broccoli. However, tragedy struck one day and the local broccoli farmers moved to Chicago.
You see, Frederick craved broccoli like a fish craves water. He needed his fix and he needed it bad. So one day he ran away from home in search of the broccoli farmers.
Unfortunately for him, he was a guinea pig and had never learned how to read a map. This didn't stop him, though, and he took a train to Kentucky.
Frederick was stunned by the wide open spaces of Kentucky. He had never been away from home before and was scared out of his adorable behind. But still he had to press on.
He was so confused that he just ran in a circle for a few minutes until a boy found him. The boy was named Terrence and all his friends called him Terrence, because that was his name.
Terrence was an odd child. Most of the other kids at school were scare
I Hate ChristmasI am not a Scrooge of any sort,
I am glad others are gleeful,
But Christmas for me is no thing of joy.
Christmas is a time of remembrance,
A time of sadness,
A time of regrets.
Two years before,
A sweet little puppy
Brought into our home.
A year passed,
And there were some problems.
She was brought back to the shelter.
And now this year,
She is gone.
She has gone not just from our home,
But from the world.
A single phone call may have saved her.
A phone call I should have made.
I bet she walked into that room wagging her tail,
But of course it lay still on her way out.
NTVZD: Going Back to SchoolNathaniel decided to finally get a college education. He had been putting it off for years, but only recently had it begun affecting job opportunities. When interviewing for a job they would look through his Hello Kitty folder of important documents and then ask him to leave. They all stopped at the same point; his death certificate. Obviously this meant they knew that if he had a college degree it would be before his death certificate and after the drawing he did in kindergarten that his mother had put on the fridge. He began applying to colleges that he assumed wouldn't be too hard to get into. Everyone had heard of them, and they weren't even in a division. They were called "ivy" schools and Nathaniel, being a vegetarian, felt any one of them would be a perfect fit. He mailed his applications and after a month finally opened his mailbox. He had a lot of junk mail, but he also had a reply from all the colleges he had applied to. He chose to take this as a good sign. Sadly, they were
NTVZD: To Mow or Not to MowNathaniel was tired of cutting his grass by eating it. Especially since he became a zombie and had no need for food. Even when he was alive, he had been more of a leaf-eater. He decided it was time to invest in a lawnmower. He went to the local lawnmower shop to buy one, but when he arrived he found he was unable to fit through the doorway. The store owner saw his dilemma and wanted to help, but most of the lawnmowers were either too heavy to bring out to him or chained to the floor to keep from being stolen, as there was a recently formed gang that stole self-propelled lawnmowers and sold them on the black market. Being unable to help Nathaniel, the storekeeper told him about a large store the next town over which had an entrance large enough for a Stegosaurus to fit through. Nathaniel was excited that he would finally fit into a building other than his girlfriend Nelly's house, but he had no way of travelling to another town because he didn't have his driver's license. There weren't
Dead Man's SwitchIn control, then not -
Sudden loss of grip.
Headlong to where?
Details lost, smudged, streaked.
Careening; no system of
No dead man's switch,
On a fast track -
With or without a god?
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More